Esther’s weekly challenge is green. You can join in here: https://estherchilton.co.uk/2025/04/16/writing-prompts-61/
Esther also very kindly hosted a guest post about my new poetry collection, Burning Butterflies, on her blog. I meant to reblog it here but accidently reposted to my art blog – oops. Anyhow, thank you so much Esther. You can read the post here: https://estherchilton.co.uk/2025/04/18/guest-writer-spot-165/
Esther is also offering to host poets and writers with a guest spot. She is a delightful host.
The Green-eyed Monster
When I was a girl of ten years old, my family moved from Cape Town to George, a largely Afrikaans speaking town in the Western Cape. I was enrolled in a small convent school as it was English speaking and Catholic. George, a small countrified town, was rather laid back and many of the children started school a year later than average. I was already a year younger than average, so this resulted in my being two years younger than most of my peer group. It was a difficult time for me. Ten and eleven versus twelve and thirteen is big at those particular ages. I was still keen on my dolls and Anne of Green Gables. The older girls were interested in boys and movies like Grease. I was a little girl, and they had boobs and hips.
There was one girl who I thought was incredibly pretty. Her name was also lovely. Kirsten, so much prettier than Robbie. Kirsten had long blonde hair that fell in a sheet to below her bottom. She was thirteen and had a mature figure. I was green with envy of this girl and wished I could be just like her. In retrospect, I was ridiculous. I came from a progressive family and Dad was always supportive. He thought his girls could be anything they wanted to be, and he encouraged me with all sorts of sophisticated books on art, history, and sculpture. We were not wealthy, but we always had a comfortable home and good clothes. Poor Kirsten had much older parents as she was a ‘laat lammetjie’ (late lamb). They were ultra conservative, and she was being raised to take on the traditional role of a housewife and mother. She made all her own clothes and never had anything modern or fashionable. I didn’t understand these things as a girl. I only saw the long hair, large eyes, and curvy figure, all things I would have loved to have. I sometimes wonder what happened to Kirsten.
Envy is
The green-eyed monster
Desiring
Long, blonde hair
I wished to be different
Such a silly girl
D’Verse Quadrille #222
Punam’s d’Verse Quadrill prompt is as follows:
“Today’s challenge is to write a poem of exactly 44 words (don’t falter on the word count) including the word alter in it. You can use any word that has alter in it. No form restrictions, no syllable counting, no strict rule for rhyming. The only thing that remains unalterable is the the 44 word rule (excluding the title).”
The following idea came immediately to mind. I had this conversation again recently with my physiotherapist.
No Alternatives
People say “You are strong
Face your family’s health issues
With courage and determination
Shoulder your burdens”
What do they mean? I wonder
What other options are available?
“You could drink or take drugs.”
Interesting suggestions
I don’t consider them to be
Great alternatives
Here are two ‘green’ pictures that I took this weekend.


Robbie, a great remembrance story on envy and how some people are not as enviable as it seems. While you envied Kirsten, she could have envied the wider opportunities you had and would have. 🙂
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Hi Dave, yes, Merril just said something similar and I have never once thought about that. Even now, as an adult.
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I enjoyed reading about that part of your life, Robbie. I wonder, too, what happened to Robbie, and if she envied you.
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Hi Merril, I’ve never thought about what Kirsten thought about me. Interesting idea. Maybe she did envy my liberal parents. South African society was very conservative in the ’80s and my mother was English with English ideas and attitudes.
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Interesting, Robbie!
The US is so large and diverse. There are very conservative people and very liberal and all sorts of variations in-between.
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Love the story and the poem – and photos of course! I had dinner with a woman I went to high school with…a few years after graduating, her brother won a PEN?Faulkner award for it, it was made into a film, and he has been a bestselling Author ever since…my friend tole me that when she told her Mom she also wanted to write, her Mom told her that her role was in the home raising kids…she said it crushed her ambitions for years.
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Hi John, I can definitely believe that. During my childhood, girls were groomed to be housewives and mothers. I was immeasurably lucky to create the opportunities in life I did. Perhaps that is why I fight so hard for equality and human rights.
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Robbie, we have a history in the US of trying to hold back “others”: people of color, women, and now those with different ideas about how they want to live their life. It’s sad, but it is ingrained in our country, and for every step forward you see two steps back…but equality for all is the goal and a majority here agree with that, regardless of the political winds
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The story and poetry are elegant, Robbie, and the photos are fantastic. Envy happens, and many times goes away as we learn things.
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Hi Tim, I think it goes away for people who are balanced and see the reality and balance in life. Some people stay envious and they are dangerous people.
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Such wisdom from you.
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Envy is a very interesting feeling, isn’t it Robbie. It limits our perspective, which you captured beautifully in your story. Always great to stop by!!
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HI Rebecca, yes, indeed. I was very young and saw only Kirsten’s beautiful hair and mature figure. I didn’t understand her disadvantages at all.
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Yes two years at that age is a quite large difference and being younger is not easy. I remember speaking to a girl at my University and she started college when she was 14. She was ahead. She told me it was hell.
It is a thought provoking poem.
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Hi Thomas, yes, being younger is very hard. You are at a different mental and physical developmental stage. I knew a lot because I was a precocious reader, but my intellect was ahead of my emotional understanding.
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Yes, what did happen to Kirsten? I wonder that about some I knew.
Our childish childhood envies are natural. It’s only a problem if one grows into an adult with childish envies.
Sounds like you had a wonderful family life.
I like your thoughts on no alternatives. The drugs and alcohol choices are more like cowardly escape choices.
I’ll check out Esthers blog! Thanks Robbie!
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HI Resa, my family had its ups and downs. Two sisters say our family was dysfunctional, but I don’t agree. We sometimes had financial issues because Dad always worked for himself, and the SA economy had very bad times in the ’80s. I think we were lucky to have our parents who were so open minded and liberal compared to most white South Africans at the time.
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It sounds good to me.
Open minded is great.
Unfortunately alcohol ruined my parents, and thereby tried to ruin my life, so I ran away.
It was a good decision.
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Alcoholic parents is something entirely different. My parents were very progressive about educating females at a time when most SA girls were raised to be huisvrou (housewives). That is what I meant. Your circumstances were tragic and you are amazing to have risen above them so well. You are an inspiration.
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It seems like the people we envy never turn out to be what we thought. It’s so much better to be ourselves!
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Yes, but you don’t know that when you are 10. It takes experience to teach that lesson.
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Do people really tell you to drink or take drugs? That is very strange advice.
I used to envy the popular girls, the cheerleaders, who were always blonde and buxom. But now I’m glad I was not that girl. Although I have no desire to re-live high school in any respect.(K)
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I never liked high school either, Kerfe. I was too different to have an easy time in a place where packing and being the same as everyone else was desired. I am still outspoken and sometimes feel guilty over comments I make. I think I shock people although that isn’t usually my aim. To inform or sometimes joke is my aim.
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Drugs and drink weren’t offered as a solution to me but rather stated as the alternative some people chose. As Destiny mentioned, some people also run away. I’ve never thought running from problems worked.
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I never find what you say shocking. But sometimes it’s disconcerting. I’m a person who has trouble interpreting what people say. I often can’t tell if they are joking or serious, so that’s on me.
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What a delight to both read and view. I loved your story and the poem about envy. You make me wonder whatever happened to Kristen too. and the photo of the Rock Rose in bloom is wonderful!
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Thank you, Violet. I tried to find her on FB but I had no success. We only lived in George for 2 years.
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Wonderful. I love the photos.
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Thank you, Timothy.
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I was moved by Kirsten’s story. I hope she’s having a good life.. The green-eyed monster is beyond silly. It will eat us alive if we let it.
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To be honest, Liz, I doubt her life turned out that well. I’m sure mine is much better. Yes, envy is very destructive. This is the only time I recall being envious of someone in my childhood.
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That would be a shame, but you’re probably right.
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This is a very lovely story Robbie and so relatable 🫶
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Thank you, Michelle. I was taught by the nuns that envy is a grievous sin.
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I agree Robbie🫶🙏
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I think most of us are wondering about Kristen now 😬.
Great images as always, Robbie …
many turn away from such burdens…and very few stick around to own it … your family is fortunate to have you …🤍🙏
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I do wonder about her, Destiny. Do people turn away from their responsibilities? Perhaps you are right and that is another alternative but impossible for me. I could never do that.
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What’s that Bible verse about when I was a child I spoke as a child but when I grew up I put away childish things? It came to mind with how you perspective as an adult has shifted so much to when you were a kid. Plus your move to a new place at that tender age would have taken so much adjustment just by itself. She became the focus that distracted you from your own discomfort, maybe?
Both plant pics are awesome. I wondered if the first one was a snail or something until I read the caption. The arid garden in Meijer Gardens has a lot of really cool succulents like the one in your pic. They seem otherworldly to me.
On your poem, I’m sorry you are feeling trapped by things you must shoulder. Hoping you see at least some small movement for relief (aside from the booze or drugs!)
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HI Lisa, at the age of 10 I had no understanding of how family circumstances and dynamics differed. I thought everyone had the same sort of life I did. We didn’t have a TV until I was 11 and even then, I rarely watched TV so I was not worldly. I’m not sure if trapped is the correct description. Perhaps it is as such circumstances are inescapable, aren’t they? We have a succulent and cacti garden in our greater garden.
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Robbie, I understand and that’s kind of what I meant, trapped by circumstances, as children often are. My folks got divorced when I was 10 and that was a huge turning point — for better and for worse — in my life. It’s always a mixed bag isn’t it.
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I always think ‘be careful what you wish for’, Robbie. And Robbie is a better name than kewpie doll Kirsten. I love the way you can turn your poetry to any subject xx
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At the time, I thought Kirsten was beautiful. Robbie has been a bit of a cross to bear all my life as people assume I am male. I was given the male version of our corporate jacket. As it turned out, the design was much better than the ladies one, but really! I’ve worked there for years and years.
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I can well imagine xx
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I really enjoyed all your pieces here. When we’re young, we often envy others, not realising the bigger picture. Your poem and photos are perfect to go with it. Your quadrille is very thought-provoking. A great post 😊
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Thank you, Esther, I’m so pleased you enjoyed this post.
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I loved reading the little snippet of your early life. I had a similar envy of a girl I used to see crossing the bus station when I went to school.
She had long, red hair with a slight curl and I wished for hair like her rather than my own mousy, dead straight locks, cut short. But I came from a comfortable middle class home with a good education at a grammar school.
She was from the local council estate, and not very well off if her clothing was anything to go by. She attended the local secondary modern school.
I had everything she didn’t. But, oh, that hair!
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Funny… your envy of Kirsten brought to mind my feelings of being ashamed of my physical differences when a new girl came to our classroom. Her initials spelled the word SAM so that is what everyone called her, and she was everything I was not. (a list too long to mention). I also wonder what happened to her, I do hope she is happy. LOVE that orange mushroom (wicked cool) And yes, I agree, drugs and alcohol are NO remedy at all.
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We don’t see everything in a person’s life. Lovely poems.
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I greatly enjoy leaning more about you. Thank you for sharing this.
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Hi Donna, it is funny how we think when we are young and immature.
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Love the story, Robbie. Your quadrille deeply resonated with me. I hate when people offer such platitudes.
And of course, I love the pictures.
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Thank you, Punam. You and I share some similar ideas.
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You are welcome, Robbie. So we do..💗
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💚🌷
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I remember ‘not fitting in’ so much. Throughout most of my high school years I spent babysitting every Friday and Saturday evening. Most often the children were already asleep… so I was getting paid to watch TV – And mope. Silly indeed.
Family issues always come first. Even when we don’t like what we have to do, it gets done. May those who we ‘serve’ as well as those who ‘serve’ (us) get the rest and recovery we need. (((Hugs)))
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HI Jules, thank you for your keen observations. Some family members don’t deserve our love, but we do it anyway out of a sense of duty. It’s not always reciprocated either. I still don’t fit in but I have at least learned to understand why and that I never will.
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The world takes and needs all people. May your gifts continue to bring joy to many.
Fitting in can be under-rated. I belong to the old folks bowling team, the gym… and there is only really one couple from bowling that we just recently started getting together with. The gym class group is still a bit clicky. But I keep smiling anyway.
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Hopefully you will make more friends in time. Have a lovely weekend.
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We are who we are and sometimes if we are lucky we can add a few more good folks into our circles. ~Thanks
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You are right. Hooray for good folks.
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Except maybe here on WP. I feel I do fit with the writers and poets.
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Yes… WP writers and poets are accepting and encouraging. (((Hugs)))
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🤗🌞
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💖
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I so enjoyed your story, Robbie. You were the lucky one, not Kirsten. Family is always our foundation, and support is everything. Yes, we do things out of duty, and have to shake off emotions. The orange toadstool is very pretty.
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Hi Jennie, of course you are right. I see that in hindsight. At the time, acceptance was important. That is why I never enjoyed high school. To much herd mentality.
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Herd mentality… that’s a perfect description. I think of the popular song’s words, “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.”
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Sadly, this knowledge comes with age. Young people are easily swayed and manipulated. That is why they are cannon fodder.
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True!
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Wonderful pieces, Robbie!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
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Thank you, Yvette.
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