Today, for our Poetics, write a poem sharing with us your train travel experience. It can be the daily metro/tube/subway/local you take to work/study or the inter city train or it can be the cross-country train. Tell us, in any poetic form, why you love or hate commuting by trains. You can join in here: https://dversepoets.com/2024/06/18/poetics-travelling-by-train/
This challenge is hosted by https://paeansunpluggedblog.wordpress.com/2024/06/19/vignettes-of-train-travel/
From Knysna to Cape Town
Clickety clack! Clickety clack!
The wheels go round and round
Moving the train further away from home
Moving the train closer to Cape Town
A blur of green and brown countryside
Seen from the windows of our sleeper carriage
In my stomach, butterflies dance
***
Giggle! Giggle!
The high-pitched sound slides off the walls
Four high spirited girls bounce on the beds;
peek under the pillows; look under the mattresses.
Our first time overnight on a train
Our first time away from home for a week
I suck jelly sweets for motion sickness
***
Lights out! Lights out!
Sister Anne makes the nightly round
Her head looks strange in its wimpleless state
I notice that the back of her long hair is grey
Only the front is dark brown – it’s dyed!
“Hands on top of the bedclothes,” she orders.
Is dyed hair a sin? I wonder
***
Yawn! Yawn!
Droopy eyed from lack of sleep
Thirty girls take seats in the dining car
Thirty steaming plates of porridge are served
With cream and honey. The food is satisfying
Washed down with large cups of sweet tea
“Are we nearly there?” Sally asks
***
Bang! Bang!
Windows slam open; thirty heads pop out
Thirty pairs of hands clap with joy
The distant station draws closer and closer
The platform is buzzing with activity
“We’re there at last,” Sister Agatha sighs.
That must be Table Mountain, I think.
roberta-writes.com 
Vivid poem and even “vivid-er” photos, Robbie!
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Thank you, Dave. I remember a lot about the journey and our time in Cape Town. So enchanting.
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Cape Town is beautiful! Was this a real trip you took as a child? It made me think of Madeline (except S. Africa instead of Paris 🙂).
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Hi Merril, yes, this is a real memory. Most of my poems are based on real memories or event. I’m delighted you enjoyed it.
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You’re welcome, Robbie.
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I meant to add, I laughed at the revelation about the sister.😂
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Thank you, Merril. I’ve never forgotten that.
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😂
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Wonderful story, Roberta. Good question about whether dying one’s hair is a sin.
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Hi Timothy, that question bothered me at the time. I really thought it was a sin for a nun to dye her hair. Funny the things we dwell on as tweens. Of course, I grew up with the Dante’s Inferno version of hell so I was quite fearful of sin.
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The Catholics got so caught up in sin and going to Hell that they lost sight of salvation.
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Yes, that is true.
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Fun story and verse Robbie. I liked the rhythm and form, especially starting with the repeated word each stanza.
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Hi Brad, I am a fan of onomatopoeia and it worked nicely for this poem. I’m delighted you enjoyed this post.
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Love train travel and a perfect inspiration for poetry!
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Hi John, I’ve had very few journeys by train. This one is a highlight of my senior primary school years.
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Great story poetry and beautiful pictures, Robbie!
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Thank you, Tim. The sunset was particularly lovely.
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There’s something about trains.
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Yes, a marvellous adventure at the time.
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A wonderful poem and photos, Robbie. I love the images of the girls riding the train. So much fun.
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Thank you, I’m so pleased you enjoyed this memory poem.
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You are welcome. I did!
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Wonderful story 🤗
Thanks so much for sharing the photographs of my birth country 💕
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I didn’t realise you are South African. That is lovely to know. I’m delighted you enjoyed this post.
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We left when I was 5 🙄
Thanks again 🤗
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My pleasure. Your book is next on my list.
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That is so kind of you 🙏
I hope you enjoy it 🤗
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Robbie, a lovely story poem and I was on the train with all the girls! I love the start to each stanza and the details along the way as well as the immediate first person narrator! I feel for Sister Agatha – she has many days ahead of her with these thirty excited girls!
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Hi Annika, its lovely to see you. This trip was a highlight of my senior primary school years. I remember lots of things about it.
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Robbie, it sounds fantastic and you have a gift for re-telling your adventures! I want to know more about it! 😀❤️
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Your poem captures the giggly fun of girls out on an adventure. I was very surprised about the nun’s hair.
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Me too, Liz. I have never forgotten it. I did think it was a sin at the time.
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I always thought nuns had their hair cut off when they took their vows.
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I think that might have been the case in the 14th century – smile! All the nuns had long hair at my school, although it was hidden under a wimple. Sr Anne was the only one to dye the front of her hair as far as I can recall.
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I thought is might depend on the order.
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You’ve captured the fun of train travel so well, Robbie. The pictures are beautiful, thanks for sharing.
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Hi Balroop, I’m glad you enjoyed this. I really enjoyed this trip so long ago now.
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Hi Robbie! This is wonderful!
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Thank you, Charles. THis is a real memory (of course)
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A most wonderful travelogue … the young women, the descriptive train movement snippets, the Sister, hands under covers!! Delightful.
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Hi Helen, thank you, I am so pleased you enjoyed this poem.
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Robbie, your poem really brought the story to life — so much energy in the prose. I love the photos too. Hugs.
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Hi Teagan, I am delighted you enjoyed this poem. I remember that trip very clearly.
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Fun verse…and magnificent photos too..
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Thank you, I’m delighted you enjoyed this poem.
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This is delightful. I can see it as a picture book.
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Thank you, Darlene. This was a memorable trip for me.
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I’m sure it was.
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How beautifully you capture the excitement of this new experience! You took us right on board with you, Robbie, and I love the details you give that enliven the memory.
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Thank you, Dora. This was an exciting journey for me.
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Roberta, you took me back to my school days with this delightful, vivid write! We too took the train for our school trips and many a teachers’ foibles came to fore on such trips. Love your poem and your photos.
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I am delighted to know you enjoyed this and could relate to it. Thank you.
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Your poetry is so vibrant, Robbie – I felt that I was with you on the train hearing the “Clickety clack! Clickety clack”! A very good question – “is dyed hair a sin?!” Love your photo collection of Cape Town Harbour with Table Mountain in the background
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Hi Rebecca, I’m glad you enjoyed this poem and photo combo. I distinctly remember my shock at her dyed hair. I had a very, very conservative upbringing at the convent.
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What a delightful read, Robbie! Hmmm… a nun who dyes her hair? Interesting…
And your photos are stunning, too.
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Hi Dale, I thought that was very odd at the time. It worried me a lot. I was convinced it was a sin. I’m glad you like the photographs.
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Hey there. I would have thought so, too. Seems rather vain and nuns are supposed to let go of all that, no? Then again, things change, I guess! I did!
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That was a fun poem, and I love the photos too. The south african restaurant close to our house (one kilometer) has a big photo of the table mountain on the wall.
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Hi Thomas, Table Mountain is iconic and very beautiful. I have climbed both the front and the back a few times. I’m delighted you enjoyed this post.
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That sounds very exciting. I would like to do that one day.
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You capture the excitement of those youngsters, Robbie. Cape Town looks fabulous, and very special.
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Hi Jo, it was a great adventure for me at the time. Cape Town is a beautiful place but the weather is only good from March to May (in my opinion). I don’t like strong wind and dark winters.
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That’s a short time! I’ll try to remember, if ever I have prospects of a visit.
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I enjoyed this so much, Robbie — the rollicking ride, the company of nuns, that portrait of Sister Anne, and those gorgeous photos: a great start to the day !
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Hi John, yay, I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
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What fun! I’m not sure if I’ve been to this blog of yours before!
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Hi Jan, I have two blogs. This one is for adult literature and poetry as well as a lot of my photography. The other, Robbie’s Inspiration, is for my children’s books, less dark poetry, and cooking and baking posts. I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
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This is a delightful experience. Love the sounds and photos too.
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Thank you, Grace. I enjoyed revisiting this memory.
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A fun poem and great images, Robbie :)x
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Hi Carol, its lovely to see you. I’m glad you enjoyed this post.
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An exciting journey! And clearly one imprinted on your memory. (K)
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Hi Kerfe, yes, I remember this entire trip quite clearly. It is funny how some memories stand out in our minds.
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beautifully captured and expressed, Robbie…your experience and the place.
A wonderful place to my memory too…thank you for sharing 🤍
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Both of these places are lovely. I’m so pleased you enjoyed this post 🙏🌺
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my pleasure 🤍🌷
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How wonderful! Knysna is a great place (plus, oysters festival is on at the moment).
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Trains and scenery go so well together. I took the Alaskan Railroad a couple of times and the scenery was incredible.
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Great poem, Robbie. You really captured the excitement of being young and going on an adventure. These pictures are beautiful!
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Terrific poems Robbie.
They are a story, a day in the life of 30 girls, told through one of them. I take it you are that girl?
You went to Catholic school? I did for a couple of years. A sin to die hair? I was told it was a sin to have hair, if you were a nun. I thought they were all bald under their habits.
Train is my favourite way to travel. Wish they could cross the ocean!
Anyway, you’ve done more than well with the prompt! It’s a joy to read your work.
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Oh, I enjoyed traveling with you through your verse and photos! Wonderful, Robbie! Thank you for the experience and the education! 🤗
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A fun poem filled with nostalgia!
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Robbie, I loved this. You write such expressive poetry. I love the simplicity of a child’s story, yet with the deep emotions that children feel but can’t always express. My favorite line, “Is dyed hair a sin? I wonder.” Such childlike innocence.
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HI Marsha, thank you for your lovely comment. I remember wondering about the dyed hair being a sin for ages and ages.
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I thought women who died their hair were fallen women, LOL. There was a teacher in our junior high school who died her hair occasionally and her roots always showed. I did wonder about her! LOL I hadn’t thought of that for years, and never thought about anyone else thinking it, and then you wrote it in a poem. Your poems are touching in unexpected ways. I aspire to write thoughtful poems like that.
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Hi Marsha, I am delighted you enjoyed this poem. The dyed hair really worried me. That’s why I remember this so well.
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So fun, Robbie, and so adorably little girl thoughts!
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Yes, thank you.
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