Roberta Writes – d’Verse, Meet bar soundly with Onomatopoeia #songparody

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Thank you to Björn for the prompt:

Today I want you to use Onomatopoeia in your poem, to strengthen the imagery through its sound (read it aloud, and maybe even include a recording. You can join in here: https://dversepoets.com/2024/05/30/meet-bar-soundly-with-onomatopoeia/

Sounds of African Night

African dark embraces me

So thick and black I cannot see

Predators stalking in the black night

Lurking just outside my line of sight

Trained to take care when camping in the wild

So undefiled

I keep the fire burning

***

Twin lights glow like burning coal

Sending a shudder through my soul

Outside the light I hear heavy breathing

My stomach lurches and starts heaving

Heheheherrh, heheheherrh, my ears do hear

Hyena – I fear!

Add wood, keep fire burning

***

Downwind movement rustles leaves

Calm stillness herd of buck deceives

Waterbuck rest just beyond the trees

Lead hyena leaps – calf does seize

Coppery smell of blood fills the surrounding air

It’s a nightmare

Fire crackles – it’s burning

***

Hyena pack devours its meal

Being this close quite unreal

Soon the members begin to snap and fight

A few are bitten – running off into the night

The din dies down to a soft murmur

Except some crunching on a femur

***

Lying near the fire feeling awed

My faith in nature is restored

The cycle of life so fascinating

Predator and prey quite captivating

***

One must die to enable life for another

Humanity from greed must refrain

Let the natural world remain

Or we’ll all implode in the burning

Sound of a spotted hyena laughing. PS, I made up the sound of a hyena laughing in my poem.
Picture caption: Waterbuck resting in the sunlight

About this poem

The poem is a parody of The Sound of Silence. My favourite version of this song is by Disturbed.

Official video of The Sound of Silence by Disturbed.

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Published by robertawrites235681907

I am a writer of young adult fiction and poetry

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111 thoughts on “Roberta Writes – d’Verse, Meet bar soundly with Onomatopoeia #songparody”

  5. Ok, first, I would have never believed that’s how hyena’s sounded. Unbelievable. Thank you for that. The experience sounded scary. But that video, kind of blew me away. Love all of it. Great post.

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  7. I so enjoyed this glimpse of another continent, the ‘African dark’ and ‘predators stalking in the black night’. I like the refrain, Robbie, but was a bit disturbed by the sounds of hyenas, especially the sinster ‘heheheherrh, heheheherrh’, and the sound of ‘crunching on a femur’.

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  11. Very well written, Robbie. I am listening to Simon and Garfunkel sing this beautiful song as I type, they were spectacular. You are a brave soul to camp in the wild desert. The night sounds must have been chilling! Your poem describes it so well even down to the last crunching on the femur!

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          3. I guess at least part of it comes down to both Biden (from 2021 to now) and Trump (2017 to 2021) governing in a way that mostly serves/served the powerful.

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  15. That crunching the femur line stood out for me, Robbie! The hyenas are really creepy sounding! Thanks for sharing.

    Disturbed’s version of the song is disturbing. 😉 It’s very powerful, angry, and dystopian. I liked it, but the original Simon and Garfunkle version will always be my favorite (and connected to the movie, The Graduate.)

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    1. HI Merril, wild animals do crunch. They rip, tear and devour. It took me a while to get used to it, but I understand that its part of the natural way of this world. I find the S&G version very tame. I love this version. It is my favourite song.

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      1. Hi Robbie. Of course I know all that about animals. 🙂 I was simply pointing out what stood out to me.
        Different tastes. The S&G version, the original, is part of the soundtrack of my youth.

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  16. Your poem sent a chill down my spine that I wouldn’t want to experience in real life. I hadn’t heard Disturbed’s version of “The Sound of Silence.” It is much more dark and urgent than the Simon and Garfunkel’s original, which speaks to generational differences, I think.

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  17. You’ve evoked the way sounds become magnified and intensified in the dark–that is not something I would like to experience, even though I know it’s nature’s way. And the video is a perfect accompaniment. (K)

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  21. I like the poem, and then I read where you said it should be set to the sound of silence. So I went back and kind of sag it with the music from sound of silence. It really is kind of brilliant. Thanks for sharing.

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  22. Wow that was the first time I’ve heard the sound of a Hyena. It was honestly a bit unsettling. The nature poem is so beautiful and ponderous and broght me to the African wilderness.

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  28. Great poem and post, Robbie. I’m interested to see you shared a Disturbed song. My son used to listen to them when he was in high school and I remember thinking they were pretty good! Hope you’re doing well 🙂

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  29. I like that version of the song too, Robbie. I read the poem once through and then read it again with the song’s cadences. Well done. It would be a little freaky hearing a hyena while camping. I’d keep the fire burning too. 🙂

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  32. Robbie, You had me holding my breath as I read, hearing the wild sounds around you, the fire’s crackling promise of refuge. Skillfully composed, conveying a real love for preserving the wildness of an “African night.”

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  33. Powerful writing, Robbie. Your world leaves me awe-struck. And ending your post with the Disturbed The Sound of Silence couldn’t have been more perfect. 💙

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  36. Oh to be a witness (by sound only, thank you very much) of such a happening! Wonderfully done. Those hyenas do sound like hysterical madmen!

    My now-favourite version of Sounds of Silence, too.

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  39. You evoke the primal terror of being in the dark with predators near by – great use of sounds…

    My partner doesn’t enjoy nature films so much these days because animals are constantly eating animals but as you say, everything has to live and prey and predator are interdependent.

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  40. Fab post, Robbie!

    Swoosh, goes the onomatopoeia.

    Your parody poem is honest, with life’s taste. I like it a lot.

    LUV the hyena’s laughing ! That’s just wild, in more ways than one.

    Adore the Sounds of Silence video. I find it inspiring, too! 🌹❦

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  41. I don’t think I’d heard that version of the Sound of Silence before, Robbie. Thanks for sharing it. It’s a wonderful song, and your poem and images are incredible. It feels as if we were there (scaringly so at times). And I love the message as well. Excellent post.

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